Covenant

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Ridley Scott and his pal, the xenomorph, return for another crack at the series in ALIEN: COVENANT - an unbalanced hybrid of the original ALIEN and...
Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel (2019)

Captain Marvel - what do you say about a movie whose most heartfelt, touching moment is found within its own studio logo?
Inferno

Inferno (2016)

Watching Tom Hanks traverse Dante's layers of hell in Inferno I suddenly realized that my tolerance for The Da Vinci Code franchise has become as short...
Pirates of the Caribbean

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Does PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES deserve all the hate it's been getting? Is it truly a complete castration of a once beloved character?
Great Wall

The Great Wall (2016)

Let's get the obvious pun out of the way: the only thing great about The Great Wall is its title (I can feel rimshot artists the world over suddenly face-palming)...
Dark Tower

The Dark Tower (2017)

Stephen King's THE DARK TOWER. What can you say when an annoying vaping light show from a rude theater goer ends up being more entertaining than the movie?
Valerian

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS marks Luc Besson's return to mainstream science fiction since THE FIFTH ELEMENT 20 years ago but has the wait...
Mummy

The Mummy (2017)

THE MUMMY - Universal's inaugural entry in their proposed Dark Universe series, is an action/horror hybrid that commits the worst sin against both genres...
Assassin

Assassin’s Creed (2016)

Watching Assassin's Creed earlier this week (because no word spreads holiday cheer faster than "assassin"), I often found my mind wandering, especially when caught in many...
House

The House (2017)

THE HOUSE. I could easily make any number of house puns here but that would require a long 30-second effort - easily more effort than anything in the film.

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